I Miss You.

Hello there, everybody.

Long time, no see. I can only apologise for not posting anything since June. I can’t believe it’s been over a year since I was here last. I had a whole bunch of stuff planned – tags, OOTD’s, tutorials. But something awful happened that made me not want to write anything, because I didn’t know quite how to write what had happened.

One of my best friends passed away.

There was no warning. Nothing at all. She died in her sleep, and I never got to say goodbye. That’s the part that hurts the most, I think. She knew how much I loved her, of course she did. But it’s so hard to think about the fact that the last time we spoke, we didn’t know it would be the last time. So, it was just a general conversation, us ranting about everything that pissed us off, and then giggling over funny memes. She did tell me she loved me, though. I do remember that.

I thought I’d just leave something here in tribute to her. She deserves that, at least.

My lovely Melanie. You were 20 years old. You had her whole life ahead of you. 20 is no age to die. It’s the start of life and it definitely should have been the start of yours. I don’t want to make this post sad, but unfortunately, that is inevitable. But Mel wouldn’t have wanted me to be sad. She’d want me to celebrate her life. To go on the worst Tinder dates possible, just to see if they rivalled any of hers.

A lot of people don’t understand the importance of ‘internet friends’. You know, the ones that you never actually get to see in person, unless you’re very lucky. Mel lived thousands and thousands of miles away from me, so I wasn’t lucky enough to get to spend time with her in person. We’d planned it, for sure. I was going to visit in a couple of years, meet her and have an amazing two weeks in the USA. But I was lucky enough to still know her. There’s a little group of us, internet friends. Except I think we’re more than just ‘internet friends’. We’re closer than that. We all have each other’s backs, even if sometimes, things get a little bit crazy. We laugh together, cry together and love and support one another. Mel is still is one of us. She will always be a part of us. Just because she’s not here in person anymore, doesn’t mean that she isn’t here in spirit. And if I knew anything about her, it was that she was not somebody the world can forget about.

She has the kindest heart, the wisest soul, and the most colourful mind. She is one of the few people who could make you smile without even realising that she had, it’s like she didn’t even need to try. She was amazing with words, and she can write like she has written 100 bestselling books. Being funny came naturally to her, along with being an amazing friend. She has always been there for each and every one of us and she would go out of her way to make us feel better when we needed it. She is a very important part of our small friendship group, and I know that everybody loved her to pieces, not just me.

I know that she’s in someplace better, right now. I believe that. I have to believe that this isn’t the end for her. She’s probably floating around with the aliens, right now. She’d love that. She was always big into aliens. Aliens and kitty cats. I wish you had known how loved you are. I wish you were able to understand what you mean to people. I’m sure that you can see us all now, you’re probably laughing at us.

Mel will be forever loved and missed. She was always understanding and she cared for everyone. I will never, ever forget all of the memories we have, even though we never got to have them face to face. I will miss all of your crazy snapchats, singing your little lungs out to me.

I hope that wherever you rest, you never feel alone, Mel.

Sleep tight, Little One.
All my love,

xxx

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